In the Spirit of the Season

I hate New Year’s Resolutions. I just can’t understand the impact New Years has on making important decisions. If you realize you’re getting fluffy in October, then start exercising in October por favor, or follow in my footsteps and embrace the chunkier side of life. And it almost seems like people think it’s a magical thing to do because they always choose the biggest and most intense goals. If you’ve not succeeded at bringing back the parachute pant by now, 2010 is not the break you've been looking for.

Now that we’ve covered my issues with resolutions, I’ll address my replacement of the traditions. I love lists. Mostly I find myself writing them, then either losing them or deeming them unworthy of my attention, but I still enjoy them nonetheless. Therefore, I have composed a list of things that I am desirous of seeing happen in twenty-ten. (And yes before you ask, I am fully aware that these are new year’s resolutions by another name; I also have an affinity for irony.)

1.Take a road trip with someone who loves life where the only intention is to meet fun people and get amazing pictures.

2.Do something that completely terrifies me. Graduation does not count as that is a given, but cleaning my closet might because that’s totally optional.

3.Go visit my besties. That would be Allison, Andrea, and Sarah; idk, I like to party. Idk, my life rocks.

4.Make a woodcut print. I want to carve a tree out of a tree, then make beautiful prints. I also want to do it left-handed.

5.Hang up all my pictures and art in my room. My yellow walls have been empty for the last 4 years, and I’ve had all the frames, etc. for the last 3.

6.Be kinder, and gentler. Those are the two fruits of the spirit that I have the hardest time with, and it really does sadden my heart.

7.Invest in more people by assuring them that I care about everything in their lives and want to be there for them always; sometimes the only thing people really want in the world is someone to love and listen to them.

8.Blog more consistently. I can; I will...Don't hold your breath.

I also want to revisit NOLA and D.C., and then visit Texas, California, Colorado, and Europe, however, I don’t think that’s all going to be happening this year so maybe it can wait until 2011. What is it that you’d like to accomplish this year?

you say you want a revolution

Sometimes, I can’t sleep, and sometimes that translates into me pretending I’m Sarah Jessica Parker circa 2001 wearing ridiculously fabulous clothes while writing a witty and charming column. Clearly it’s still her voice I hear reading my words as I write them; I don’t really like to hear myself talk. Also that last statement is a lie. I actually really do enjoy hearing myself talk, which is probably what got me into my current predicament—writing a whole lot of not much just to appease myself. I know that initially “Jenna’s Journey’s” was intended as a travel blog, but I don’t travel that much, or maybe just not anywhere interesting. Except that this summer I traveled to a far away land and met amazing people and experienced things I couldn’t even begin to fully explain (or maybe I could if someone asked) and I never even blogged once. I guess I’m lazy. And super self-conscious. I don’t like for my unfiltered thoughts to mingle with the general public; it makes me nervous. However, I can’t sleep, and my life is a journey, so I think it all balances out in the end. I doubt this gets published, mostly because I think I’m silly and I know when I read this over I’m going to say, “Really Jenna? No one cares about any of that.” And I’ll probably say it out loud because as previously stated, I like to hear myself talk, and I’ll probably lament the way I frequently began sentences with conjunctions, and then I’ll save the file in my computer as a free-writing project and open it once a year to groan about…well, me. I wish that I had something important to say. In fact, I wish that a lot. Sometimes I even wish it on stars, “I wish I had something worth saying, and someone worth saying it to.” I don’t really even know what that means, and clearly the stars don’t either because as far as I know, it hasn’t happened yet. Also, I just told my reoccurring wish, so I think I just jinxed it forever. This last semester I had a professor ask me to stay after class to ask why I didn’t speak out more during class. It was very flattering to hear my opinions were valuable, but my mantra prohibits me from doing so. What I try to do is, rather than speak incessantly just to prove I can read, use context clues, or suck up, wait to speak until I have my moment of brilliance. Sometimes that never happens in a class, but when it does, it feels great and I leave feeling accomplished instead of annoying. The problem with this is that I think it may be translating into a lifestyle, and Im not really sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Sometimes I never say the mediocre things that plague my mind, because they’re mediocre, but then they build up until I can’t carry them around anymore and they burst forth in an intense moment of analyzation and bewilderment and I end up writing when I could be sleeping. It’s a good thing to be picky about your revelations, right? To wait for your moment of brilliance when you have a great idea that you know the world absolutely has to have. That way you’re never accused of being conceited or dumb or annoying or anything else derogatory that can be said. But what if one of those mediocre thoughts is the fuel for someone else’s fire, for someone else’s moment of brilliance? Then isn’t it selfish not to share all your thoughts? But then, what if it’s true and no one wants to hear your thoughts to begin with? Will that realization crush any hopes of future brilliance? Does it work like that? I guess what I’m trying to say is, everyone has something to say, but a lot of times no one says anything. I don’t understand that; I’d like to understand that. And I’d like to have a moment of brilliance and something constant in my life to balance out all this life change business that’s currently happening.

Topana

So today was the last day in Topana, and also the end of our service in the Romani communities. As such, I would like to summarize. The funniest thing happened on this trip. Unknowingly, I put limitations on God before I ever boarded the first plane to come to Macedonia. I expected to show the Roma kids a picture of love and grace, a picture of Jesus, and somewhere in the process God showed up. He didn’t say “yay Jenna” or “you go girl,” instead God used these children and the group formerly referred to as strangers to teach me about love and grace and maybe even a little bit of mercy. I’ve experienced more rich and more full worship in the past week than I have in such a long time, and I can honestly say I’ve been with Jesus. I’ve talked He’s listened, He’s talked I’ve done my best to listen. I’ve had my vices tested and twisted and tortured, but by the GRACE of God, I’ve overcome a lot of them. I’ve met a total stranger and developed a bond of LOVE and edification that I never expected to find through this. I had my convictions before ever signing up for this trip, but God used every single aspect of this journey to nail them down…to say I told you so…to kick me for ever doubting…and to reassure me of my absolute dependence on Him and Him alone. God has brought several new and amazing people into my life, and I’m going to miss them so much when I leave here, but I will also leave with the comforting knowledge that I’ll leave with a renewed mind, and a strengthened heart. I don’t have anything super inspirational to give you. No miracles, no amazing feats of my doing to list, but it doesn’t even matter because thanks be to God, He’s the only significance there is. And I can say that His name has received the glory for what has happened in Skopje over the past week.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;
Let all the peoples praise you.
Oh, let the nations be glad and sing for joy!
Psalm 67:3-4a

George Petrov

So the first Romani village we went to was George Petrov, and this was the community that Betty and Karen don't have a lot of contact with yet. We ended up having around 100 or so kids between the 4 times we were there with them and by the last visit on Tuesday night, a lot of their parents came, which is perfect because it allowed for Betty and Karen to meet them and start friendships. The kids were so much fun, they just wanted to hug and kiss everyone. There was this one boy in particular who on the first morning we went, was hitting people and yelling and being mean to everyone. On Tuesday morning he took the garbage bag and was walking around picking up trash, and if another child happened to throw something down in his sight, he would scream something Romani at them until they picked it up. It was just really cool to see how his attitude changed just because our team loved on him and tried to reach out to him. We're really the first group to come and do what we're doing here, so every one's pretty excited. Our hope is that their trust has been gained, and their curiosity will lead them to Betty and Karen. They need our prayers now more than ever, because these people need Jesus and He's doing a work here.

On a side note: Macedonian food...AMAZING! I could eat Breck for the rest of my life and Baklava oh my goodness. I could do without the sun shining at 4:45 AM every stinkin' day, but I think I'll live. :) xoxo

Day 2

Ok today, I feel alive. I’m really not that tired at all. No more than usual anyways. This morning we went to a Baptism service at this place called…. And three people got baptized. We were down by this gorgeous river and they had about five people playing the guitar and leading worship...AMAZING! Then we all went down close to the creek, and watched them verbally proclaim Jesus as their Savior and be baptized. We got to do one of their first communions with them also. After that we had a picnic lunch with everyone. I can’t really put adjectives to the whole experience, but I’m telling you, you could feel God there. It was just so sincere and humbling. **See bottom of blog**

We’re all really tired, but really exciting because tomorrow is our first day on the field. The whole team consists of, the IMB team: James- Song Writer extraordinaire Jason- Leader and holder of medical release forms Sara- Queen of Event Coordination and Brian- Videographer (our trip is being spotlighted next year at all the “Fuge” camps. Then the 1st Baptist Wellington [Palm Beach] Jeff –minister and fearless leader Dina and April- mom and daughter Bryant and Julia- dad and daughter David and Sarah- the equivalent of our Matt and Michelle Rob- my sarcastic equivalent and Chris- who I am convinced is the love child of Devan Smith and Marlin Harris. Kristen [Megan] is from OK and she is my constant comic relief/roomie. Lastly and definitely most importantly is Mrs. Betty and Mrs. Karen- the missionaries. Their stories are as amazing as they are. Betty has been here for 8 years, and Karen just came 2 years ago from Russia. The people they work with are the Romas. Basically the poor Macedonians. It’s really astounding just how much these two ladies have accomplished. Now that you know our team, know that we covet your prayers! Love you guys!

P.S. add into your prayer protection for our lungs from the second hand smoke that encompasses and smothers every aspect of Macedonia…even the airports. xoxo

Macedonia Day 1

So day one...technically days one and two…completely exhausted me. As David so kindly pointed out, we spent more time in the airports than on the planes. My first wait was in Birmingham for 2 ½ hours, so you can imagine how thrilled I was when we boarded our plan (I would have almost walked if the sketch with the yo-yo didn’t stop looking at me.) So then 2 ½ hours of miserable plane ride later, I arrive in D.C. “But Jenna, you love to fly.” “Why yes indeed, you are absolutely correct, however, This was like sitting in a remote control airplane. There were 12 rows. TWELVE ROWS! There were only like 42 people on the plane, and every time the wind blew 2miles an hour, we flew all over the place. –The cherry on top_ My seat buddy was German. He didn’t talk, he just looked German. [sidenote: Europeans are so stylish…rarely ever do they look bad.] He was long and skinny, yet he still needed 2 armrests. The worst part was that while I was feeling nauseous. Trying to occupy myself, he not only blocked the outside view from his window, but I couldn’t even partake of his book …it was in German. So finally we land and Washington-Dulles is retarded. There are 3 entirely separate busses to travel from one building to the next. Therefore, I had to find where I was going and how to get there before I lost my shuttle and had to start over again. {Also while wandering, I found a starbucks where they barely spoke English and yet said they understood what a skinny vanilla latte is, but were that true would I have had to repeat and explain every detail about my drink? Negative. I And let me tell you, the whole five seconds of extreme panic and exasperation when I couldn’t find my gate had me channeling some Scarlett O’Hara… I wanted to yell “I’ll never sleep on a cold icy airport floor again!” All is well though because I ever so conveniently found my gate not 10 minutes later….and seeing as how I would have to sit there for apx. 8 days 4 hours and 31 seconds, it didn’t really matter anyway. LooooooooooooooongEST FLIGHT EVER.ever! D.C. to Vienna…dear goodness, I thought I would die. My head hurt my face and nose were dry, I wanted to barf. It was not a pleasant experience .Once we made it through smoke infested Vienna airport where we had been sitting .for several hours, oh and being accosted by Vienna girls passing out postcards and a condemn. But once we got on our last connecting flight…I got my second wind. I was ready to go, but then there was a problem. I couldn’t tell you what it was since all but our 11 people spoke either German or Macedonian, but I can tell you the result of the issue was to move one of the wailing 6 mo. Old babies right beside me and his twin on the isle across from me. Fortunately this ride was moderately fast. Once we got to Skopje we thought we had lost Chris’s baggage, (that was almost unfortunate), and then we lane hopped at least 4 times before we found the right customs line. Macedonia is gorgeous…It looks a lot like Brazil actually, but to be honest I wasn’t really concerned with what it looks like, since I felt so sick and tired I could’ve just passed out right then. I had then officially been up for apx. 32 hours not counting the times I actually slept on the planes….which was 1 hour. The theory however was/is if we stay up until bedtime today, then our bodies will adjust to this new sleep pattern…..hmn. But seriously I’m dozing and jerking back awake right now, so forgive me. I’ll let you know how the fatigue is tomorrow at the crack of AM when I must get up. xoxo

El Fin

It's over. It's over. It's finally over. I love my family, I promise I do, but I've met my family vacation quota for the next 14 months at least. Those with acute perception will note that there was no blog for the entire second half of the trip. There is a reason for such. IT WAS HORRID! People in my family are very independent, we like to do our own thing go our own way, and be in control of everything. Now add our severe sarcasm to the mix, and well...it wasn't pretty. I cried more than once, and on one of the days I can promise you I didn't say more than 10 sentences all day. I believe now more than ever in my previously stated laws of vacations. Fortunately for you though we're back, and things are back to normal, all in separate rooms, not talking to each other. It's pleasant. Oh and speaking of unpleasant let me give a word to the wise, never ever ever stop at Taco Bell for dinner on a roadtrip. Especially not if you're in my family. I'm ever so thankful I got a working window seat. So yeah sorry there aren't many details and humorous anecdotes in this post, but just be thankful I still have mind enough left to write anything! I love you all, and remember Jesus is the source of a Merry Christmas.

P.S. I think I changed the comment thing so more people can comment even without that stupidgoogle account thing, so try if you like. Sorry!

P.P.S. I SAW BARBARA MANATEE! {yay}