Saturday, January 23, 2010

I face the horizon everywhere I go

^art from this cute Etsy shop
Saturdays are my do your schoolwork days, but at this point in the semester I can get away with putting off most of my work until Sunday afternoons. It's in light of this truth that I have been mostly unproductive today. I went and coached 6 precious cherubs in Upwards this morning, then I made a fort out of fleece blankets (sorry I didn't take a picture) and watched Megg Ryan fall in love through email but despise the man when they met in real life, which honestly I completely understand because let's face it, people are so much more charming in words and theory than they are in person. I did do some yoga and a dance workout, which was fabulously cheesy and wonderful, but then I got sucked into watching a lifetime movie which probably negates everything good I even thought about today. This channel is straight up ridiculous...but clearly my tv is still on it...go ahead judge.

Anyways, now that you know what my physical day has looked like, I'll introduce you to my mental day. It started off with the intention of doing Upwards, watching and analyzing a Russian production of the play Hamlet (with no subtitles!?) for class, then letting my brain relax with a movie night. I've told you before, and I'll remind you now, I'm the worst at accomplishing things on my lists. I only really did one thing off my list, but I have been thinking all day so I feel like it all works out. Here's what I've been thinking about:

1. The Pregnancy Pact (a lifetime movie premiering tonight) - dumb

2. MC Fuge friends - best ever, missing them fiercely

3. My apartment - dirty. like my car. not ok.

4. Makeup - completely over it right now. also the blowdryer

5. This last point needed to start with a "t" word for my silly formalist ideals, but really it's about me and something I realized I was not happy with today. I'm constantly seeing and thinking about how people are so bad at investing in each other-about how we may actually care about each other, but we never show each other. That breaks my heart. Maybe I'm being dramatic because I'm about to GRADUATE, and I'm realizing how important relationships are. It's a lot more intense than it was making the transition from highschool to college. Now people really are going to go their own ways (and Fleetwood Mac will be stuck in my head for a week). It's been clumps of friends go to this school, clumps go to that one, and with a weekend roadtrip here and there you see them all- plus they all come home for holidays and summers, so right about the time you miss them, there they are. What happens when those clumps of people break up, and it's individuals here and there and all over? And when everyone is separated, will they keep in touch? If you have a connection with them, the answer should be yes, so then I pondered whether or not I have good connections with the people I love. And honestly, I feel like I've failed some of them. If we're on a you-know-my-fav-color and I know what you order at Starbucks level, and I haven't texted, called, or written you a letter in the last week, I'm sorry. I don't think I'm doing a thorough job of really pouring into my friends right now-of knowing their lives, holding them accountable, and encouraging them. I feel like I've been selfish. I'm not worried about graduation, I'm really not (I'm getting tired of answering well-meaning sweet people's probing questions that I don't really have answers for, but no worry), so then why have I been devoting more time to thinking through May 2010 and beyond than I have to my friends?

So here we are. That's my day in a nutshell, and if you are one of those people I've neglected, please accept my most sincere apologies then let me know what's going on with you and how I can pray for you. Life is good, so let's make the most of it together :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The back of yo head is ridicalusss

So I have hair, and I like it. Usually I live in crazy hair, in fact this past summer I realized I'd already been living in camp hair years before I got there. I'll comb it when I get out of the shower because it's getting super long, but most days I just don't go beyond that. I could make excuses all day long if you wanted (too busy, too lazy, global warming), but whatever the reasons, I like the boho wild woman hair. Last fall I tried a "Devil Wears Prada" bang and loved it, and then got some red foiled in and loved that, and most recently I dyed the tips of my bottom layer purple for kicks. It was fun. In honor of my infatuation I wanted to share some fabulous things I'd love to do with my hair.

First Up: Accessories

I LOVE a headband.

I also love a bow.

I want to be a rockstar hippie.

Veils make me smile. Especially on a hat.

2. Fun Colors

Mnnn. Pink. (and if Rachel McAdams does it, well...)
And the prettiest fiery red.
3. Hair I secretly covet.

Sure she scares me. A Lot. But her hair is the coolest.

Big Wheels Keep on Turnin', Prouuuddd Mary Keeps on burnin'

...clearly I'd be crazy not to want her hair.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

If Only, If Only.

So my friend Allison (super precious, creative blogger extraordinaire) does this thing sometimes where she shares her celebrity crushes. I saw a wonderful and beautifully heart-breaking movie called Bright Star Friday, and it got me thinking of some of the poets I would've loved to love. That in turn inspired me to follow in her footsteps and share one of my celebrity boyfriends. Unfortunately he's a bit dead, but he's so good looking, and talented. He also kind of had a crazy hazy dramatic reputation, but I think he would've been irresistible. I present to you, George Gordon Lord Byron.

And if you're not completely head-over-heels for him yet, here's a breath-taking poem.
"She Walks in Beauty"

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
(read more HERE)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Drama Queen Confessions

Sometimes I feel ugly, and right now in my life I am again struggling with that monster that likes to steal my self-esteem, hide it from me, and then laugh while I slink around trying to find it. Sometimes hide-n-seek is the worst sort of game. This isn't the first time I've been here either. In fact, being a girl, being an over-analytical dramatic-ish girl, naturally I try to brace myself for these moments. When I get out of bed and go to brush my teeth in the morning, I see Proverbs 31:30 written on my dry erase board-"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Then when I go back into my bedroom to put on my makeup (which please let's not even go down that trail) I see Ecclesiastes 3:11a "He has made all things beautiful in their time" which in its context doesn't necessarily mean physically beautiful, but appropriate or fitting; God made me who I am and put where I am for a reason. I know that the fear of the Lord is where wisdom begins (Prov. 9:10), but even though these things are the buildingblocks of everything I know, somehow, sometimes there's still a violent war raging within me. I hate it. I really do, and if you've known me longer that half a second, you'd surely say I was a confident assertive girl, but sometimes, I'm not. I'm there right now, and lately is seems like no matter who I'm around or what's being said, me and my selfish pride are going to find a way to think negatively. I'm not writing this so you'll tell me how fabulous and lovely you think I am-honestly, that will only make me feel worse at this point-but I know I can't be the only person who finds themselves here. And I want to reiterate, a. you're not alone and b. the only way to truly be content is to see yourself through God's eyes (assuming He's looking on you with grace and not wrath). I'm currently working on b. I'll get there.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

You don't have to believe me

Since the last few posts were a little on the serious side, I thought it appropriate to share something fun. This video combines two of my favorites-good music and typography. Plus he seems kind of sweet. Enjoy, friends.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

"He Heard Music and Dancing" Luke 15:25

So this past semester me and two other girls, who I have grown to love and adore, started a small group Bible study. We're using the book, The Prodigal God by Tim Keller, and we've loved every minute of it. It's about the story of the prodigal son, and it's one of the most humbling things I've ever read. If you're thinking it won't apply to you because you are not/ never were the prodigal son, fear not, my guess is you can relate to the elder brother. I'd say at least half the times we've gotten together someone's ended up in tears because it just so powerfully conveys God's message. The last chapter is my favorite (we haven't studied it together yet), but I studied it this past week in the midst of all my travels, and it's so good I want to share a little. In this chapter he discusses some attributes of salvation, and my favorite is that "salvation is communal." I think often times the communal side of life gets neglected. The aged forget they're not alone, the youth forget they can't do it by themselves, and all of us forget to value others as we should. I guess this is kind of a quote within a quote, but God really used it to speak to me, so this is an excerpt from C.S. Lewis' book The Four Loves that Tim Keller used to illustrate his point in The Prodigal God.

In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully
bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity;
I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles
[Williams] is dead, I shall never again see [Tolkein's] reaction to a
specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald [Tolkein], having him
"to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald...In this,
friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to heaven itself
where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the
fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her her own
way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an
old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying, "Holy, Holy,
Holy" to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we this share the
Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have.

Pause here and meditate on that for a second. Isn't it funny how that works? And it's true, if you've read more than this post you saw that being kinder and gentler are the two fruits I'm trying to cultivate right now; that means I don't see a lot of them in my life currently but would like to, and because my best friend Emily is the kindest and meekest person I know, I get to see God more and in a way that maybe I don't see on my own. I have friends who have been gossiped and lied about, but will pray for and encourage the very person they know is treating them wrong. By being friends with other Christians I get to see God in new ways. I get to see how he works for each person individually. Maybe this sounds simple and silly, but it's so awesome to me. We are here for each other; we should be here for each other. God gave us passions and talents that are ours, and He gave them so that we might show His mercy, His goodness, and that He is love. Do I do that? Do I look to others to see His sovereignty, do I try to get closer to Him through edification, or do I selfishly stick with what I can see on my own? What about you? Think about it. And since this is about one page out of the book, go ahead and read it all; if the only thing you do is read the last chapter on google books, read it. You'll be encouraged.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'll always miss you, and I'll always wish you'd been mine

Our group plus 100X Mission that we did a project with.

So this past week I got the amazing opportunity to visit Arizona. It was the farthest West I've ever been, and it was one of the most amazing trips I've ever been on. For starters, the conference I attended AHMI (a program designed to train students in the area of nonprofits and prepare them for a life of service) was so good. The students there were some of the smartest, most considerate, fun people I've ever met. There were 700 of us from all over the US, but with everyone I met it was like we'd been friends for years. I wish the rest of the world could catch on to our vision. Every student there shared a passion. We all want to move beyond the "Oh, that's terrible," to "Oh, that's terrible; let's try this to fix it." It was the perfect start to a new year, and since I could never make it mean to you what it meant to me, I'm going to condense it into a few special quotes and pictures and let you make your own observations and so find your own special meaning.

One of the most amazing things I heard-a seemingly offhanded comment saturated with wisdom-came from Todd Hornback. He said,

"The event [that we as people experience] is not as important as our relation to
that event."

And by this he simply meant that your outlook on anything that happens to you is more important than what actually happened. If you spill coffee on your notes, do you inwardly curse trees, costa rica, and Obama or do you immediately realize how unimportant notes are in the grand scheme of life, shrug and go on? Another thing he contemplated that really stuck with me is the "I Am Because You Are" mentality. No, this isn't the game played when you and your sister get tired and sassy in the backseat on the way home from the beach; It's the idea that everything we are is affected by the people we encounter. And if that's true, then also the reverse, everything they are is affected by you. So shouldn't we be more accountable for what we are and aren't doing to contribute to the lives of those around us?

Other quotes to consider and love include:

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." -Benjamin Disraeli

"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character . If you must be without one, be without the strategy." -Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf

"Recognize the connection between consumption and compassion. The two are no longer mutually exclusive. Support businesses or products that show the link between profit and purpose. The way you spend your money - the power of capitalism - can ultimately decrease the need for charity in the first place." - Robert Egger <
Look him up on his Website, HERE, or on his Twitter.

This conference gave me so much to think about, and so much to look forward to in the future, but it also exhausted my brain. On that note let's look at some pictures, where all you have to do is observe and adore the beauty and grandeur of God's creation.

Welcome to Phoenix. Looks a lot like FL if you ask me.
Miss Alice can tell us the validity of that statement.

This is Sedona; the picture comes nowhere near doing it justice.
It literally stole my breath.

Our tour guide made me pose. I'm kind of glad he did. The Grand Canyon is astounding.

The Alpine Forest. So peaceful.

Get your kicks where? Route 66.

Such a beautiful adventure in my life, and the most perfect way imaginable to begin the final semester of my college years. I hope you can experience something this beautiful this year.

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