The Premier of Secret Saturday

If you guys are going to be faithful (and crazy) enough to read my ramblings, I've decided that I owe it to you to be more personal. Sometimes I share with you what God's doing in my life, and sometimes I share silly things that I think, but I think there needs to be a constant. And one that's somewhere in the middle; Secret Saturday is my attempt at such. Each week I will tell you something personal about me that you probably don't know. Some weeks will be juicer than others, some more obvious, but I'm sure I will often risk embarassment. Good news is, I love you enough not to care :) [sidenote: since the embarassing thing isn't a joke, I'll probably only remind you this first Sat. Every other one you'll have to remember to check or miss out.] So yeah. Let's get this started shall we?

Secret One: Sometimes I wish I had a twin.

This has been a thing for me ever since I saw "The Parent Trap" back in the day. I really believed for at least a year there was a 70% chance my dad was part of a cover-up conspiracy and my real dad and twin sister lived somewhere else. (I think the whole experience may have done a little psychological damage, but I can't prove anything.) I also kind of think the only reason I stopped thinking that was because the theory was based on a movie, and my mom an I were absolutely not as posh as the mom/daughter in said movie. (Completely aware of the extent of my ridiculousness) This experience also helped foster a mild obsession with the Olsen twins (I can feel you judging as I type). So here's what my life would look like if I had a twin.

We would take cute pictures together like this:

We would be rockstars with messy hair and big glasses like this:

We would wear fabulous dresses for artsy pictures like this:

And we would have amazing tastes in fashion like here:

We would also clearly have to have different hair color so we wouldn't confuse people, and we would go to class for each other (wearing hats to cover the hair) so we'd never miss anything. I would always have someone to ask "I can wear my hair like this?" and "Is this too much?" And I'd never have to talk to myself. ...now that I think about it, having a twin might be too much Jenna. I'm not sure the world can handle two of me.

Even still, sometimes I wish I had a twin.

:One Thing I Love Thursday:

Here in Jenna Land, we are all about trying new things. In honor of this tradition I will now be having "One Thing I Love Thursday" (hence the clever title). This Thursday I choose Zooey Deschanel.

I Love how sweet she is.

I Loved her in this movie...

And I loved her in this movie.
I Love her in this fabulous band.
And I LOVE absolutely everything she wears.

I love that she's so beautiful, but she can be adorably cute too. I love that she tries new things, can pull off pretty much any fashion item ever and that she sounds heavenly.

Dramatic Monolgue, Please

So here's where I am in my life. First of all, I made a "b" on both my close-reading paper and midterm for Shakespeare which is an amazing feat. (at all and for the first time taking The Woman, The Legend, Dr. Willis) I've been hearing the angel chorus all night. And it is at this point I would like to launch into my dramatic monologue (Shakespeare, not the angel chorus).

We are currently reading King Lear and it is one of the most depressing things ever. Granted I kind of needed it after Othello which I read, loved, and adored the most villainous and evil character ever (the complexity of his character is fascinating) then questioned my sanity/humanity. I feel better about this play because I despise the villain, but it's so tragic, it breaks my heart. Anyways, in this play, one character (Gloucester) is tricked into turning against his son (Edgar). Edgar is forced to run away to avoid death, but shortly after, Gloucester runs into him, and doesn't recognize him. You see, Edgar is now dressed as a beggar. He does this under the pretense that as a society, we overlook the wounded, the poor, the deranged. And he assumes rightly because his father never once even connects him to his son; he doesn't look at him close enough. In fact he over-looks him. I think we do this a lot.

[Aside] We over-look the needy. As my professor mused, if we see a homeless person on the street would we recognize them at the mall, in regular clothes? No. In fact, if we see someone at the mall, most of us wouldn't recognize them at the movies later. We just don't pay attention to each other.

So shortly after meeting the beggar, Gloucester is turned against in the palace. As the mutiny ensues, both of his eyes are gouged out, and he too is sent out onto the heath to wander. Now here's where I had my epiphany. Edgar sees his eyeless father and guides and protects him while pretending to be a beggar. And eventually Gloucester recognizes him as his son. BUT, it's only after he loses his eye site that he sees his son. Are we like that? First, do we even look? Second, do we see?

Somehow this led me down the path of wondering how often I don't see others. I wonder too why it's so easy for most to recite the Gospel than to share or live it. It's sad, and please don't think I'm getting blinded by the log in my eye trying to see the speck in others'...I'm not, I promise. It's actually the log in my eye that's convicting. Earlier I was thinking about people who are spiritually condescending, and it honestly depressed me a little, but God knows me too well and humbled me in Shakespeare. I'm guilty of the very thing that was breaking my heart; how can I even add others into the equation? (Not that this is an equation...Jenna! no math metaphors!) I don't know how far I've now drifted from my original topic, and I'm sure by now I've confused most, but reading King Lear really impacted me. I hope that I can leave this play behind having become more perceptive to those around me and how I relate to them. I want to see while I still have my eyes, and I want to serve while there are still people who need me.

an attempt to provoke thought

'It is but a few hours, sir,' Clenham cheerfully urged upon him.

'A few hours, sir,' he returned in a sudden passion. 'You talk very easily of hours, sir! How long do you suppose, sir, that an hour is to a man who is choking for want of air?'

picture from ffffound.com

quote from Charles Dickens' "Little Dorrit"

If you're looking for some reading material that beautifully entertwines characters and themes in an exciting plot with eloquently styled writing, Look no further.

Go ahead be gone with it

Be ye forewarned, this will not be worth your time in any way imaginable. Sorry Boutcha. I just thought, I have some time to kill, and I feel like talking...without actually talking, so really I guess I just feel like sharing. These are things I love in this moment.I wish Tim Burton was my friend. Alice was so good.

I love her so much. So pretty and sweet.

I never get tired of these on my nails.

One day I might make my bridesmaids wear this ^
or that ^ either of which will keep me laughing for years.

When I finally get time to sew, I'm going to make something like this.

And finally, we took our fair share of awkward family photos over the summer (see following), but the last guys take the cake. This was for real a chairmen of the board official portrait. It makes me die always. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I'll pull it up to laugh.

If you're super confused/questioning my sanity I understand. There was no rhyme or reason to this post other than to let you in my head for a minute. I won't be offended if you don't like it there, it's an acquired taste. And on that note, I'm going to start a new (maybe once a week) endeavor where I will try to tell you at least one secret about me. It could be fun. It could be traumatizing. Excited yet?

Ides of March

First blog of March, and I think it's time for a life update! A lot of stuff has been happening in my life and things have been changing, but at the same time it seems like nothing is happening and life is moving in slow motion. I've really just been trying hard to balance all my emotions and desires and actions with each other and seek God while doing so; it's been a challenge. So, to make this less painful for you, the reader, I'll divide this blog into sections.

1.Emotions.

I really want to make a pie chart here. If I find that it's possible, it's totally happening. (Look for it in blogs to come.)

B.Desires.

Since I have been so blessed to be a bridesmaid many times over, my sister is going to be so blessed to receive those dresses, instead of having to buy new ones. That being said, the dresses need a little work so that they look more prom trendy than bridesmaid chic. I'm pretty excited about expanding my sewing skills through this larger endeavor, but I have to make time. I've got one dress pinned up and planned out, but no sewing has been started; I also have a Christmas present (don't judge) to finish sewing and mail too. I want to work on this every second of every day. Sewing is such a release for me.

I am also extremely desirous of starting a painting project for one of my favorite professors. Pretty sure that won't get underway until Spring Break though because it's going to be thought and labor intensive (pictures will come when I finish). Get excited.

I want to go to the beach soooo badly right now. Alas, my spring break will not be spent on the sand, but in a germy Dr.'s office. Blek.

And lastly, I want to road trip to see people I love and miss dearly. There's a whole heap of them though, and I'm sad to report that this desire is most likely the one that will be neglected. (Until post May 15, because as of today, there will be an "exclusive friend group" [at least in part] reunion in FL)

3.Actions.

I have almost finished writing my research paper due Wednesday.

I have thought about writing my midterm due Wednesday.

I have completely ignored studying for my midterm Thursday.

And then the Actions that don't make me want to roll my eyes and gag:

I bought animal crackers.

and

Today I faxed my application for an internship at a church in Nashville. It would be for a whole year, beginning in August, and I'm so excited at the prospect. Getting this internship would be step one of my journey to being a grown-up [ish] and that's pretty cool. However, as excited as I may be, I'm so nervous I could throw up. Trust me, I know God is in control, and He's going to see me through, I just get self-concious when I feel like people are going to be evaluating my worth, and that's exactly what this feels like. I can convey my thoughts about literature all day long, but when I talk about myself, I think I sound dumb. It's okay though because if that's where God wants me, they'll love my awkwardness, and if it isn't then I don't want to be there. I'm channeling some serious Esther right now; "If I perish, I perish." I'm going to live and do what God calls me to knowing that if He desires me to do something, He's going to make sure it happens. So comforting.

I'm sure I'll post more about Esther later this week. I've been reading her and Friday some of the college and career girls from my church got together and talked about her a little. God's using this story in my life in a big way right now, but if you just can't wait to hear about it, read this blog to get a preview (Besides that, she's just encouraging and uplifting to read). Meanwhile, I'd love to hear about your life right now. What's happening?

Sometimes I'm 11 again

I may or may not have watched all of these and laughed until I had tears in my eyes when I was supposed to be investing my time in turning my mediocre paper into a masterpiece. ...I did actually finish the paper, but Powerpuff Girls?!!! Come On! Take me back to the nineties, please.







...there are more, but I'll spare you (these really are the best though). And for the next week I'll walk around saying, "I aammmm MoJo JOJO!"