All you need is Love

Emphasized by one of my favorite Beatles songs, and definitely the one thing I'm loving this week : I Love being loved. Sometimes I feel lonely, I think it's because all my friends have schedules just as crazy as mine, and I feel like that whole out of sight, out of mind thing kicks in, but there are a few people who no matter how sparingly I see them, always manage to make me feel loved. I love them every second of every day, but today I think they deserve a special mention.Sweet Allison has been my constant support since I met her. Literally two minutes after ever talking to or seeing her, she was easing my fears and making me laugh with her charm and wit. She and I talk a lot, even though I haven't seen her months (Please come on May), and I absolutely adore her!


Emily here, has been my best friend for years and years now, and even though we've both grown a lot, nothing has ever changed our friendship. She too is such an encouragement. She's good at advice, one of the best examples of a Godly woman that I know, and I don't think she could be mean if you tried to make her. Thank God for a friend who can make it all better when it's bad.


And my lovely newly(ish)wed Kimberly. She has grown so much in the past year, and she's always willing to lift me up to the Lord, and help me when I need anything. She makes me laugh, and honestly, she probably knows me better than I know myself. She understands who I am because she was there when I was becoming this person. Without her, geez, let's not go there.

And then there's my sweet Reagan who makes me feel so loved, every time we make eye contact. I cannot imagine my life without this sweet girl. BFF4E.

I love these girls so much. And I love being loved by them. I know I've been talking about it a lot, but graduation is kind of a big deal, and in such an emotional time when I'm tempted to feel like no one really understands or that I'm alone, I have these girls who lift my spirit and remind me of who I am. Mnnn. Love, I love it.

April twenty-somethingth

"The shell must break before the bird can fly" -Tennyson

today i am excited about graduating. mostly.

Oops...again.

Clearly I will never again actually tell you a secret on secret Saturday. Sorry. I actually thought of one too, but I'll save it for later I guess. Still want a secret? I have 2 papers left in college (one due tomorrow at midnight and one due Wed. at 5) and I haven't started either. *Gasp. The first one is only 4-5 pages; that's literally only about 40 minutes of my life once I start, and the second....well I should probably be afraid. Shakespeare papers take at least 3 completely intense edits, but since I didn't start last week, I'm already sliding down the slippery slope. Another secret? I don't care! Today I got to soak up the sun and stuff all my graduation invites into envelopes. I'm so over this whole grade thing... except I need them to graduate. Ok, you're right, lamest secret ever... Next week?

One Thing I Love Thursday

I love yoga. There I said it. And I wish I could wake up with the sun, live on the beach, and walk around barefoot in flowy tops and tights with a bottle of water in one hand and a rubber matt in the other all the time. I do. Yoga just feels so good. It really does make you notice your breathing and it stretches muscles I never knew existed. I want to get better at it though. I want to be able to do this:

Currently I'm good at cobra, tree pose, mountain, and warrior. Oh, and my favorite, I have a fierce child's pose :) Clearly I'm going to need more practice. In fact, I just did some yoga, but I'm going to do some more now.

I really do love to read and write

^This is something I'm thinking about today. Also the blog it came from is super fun (in a completely nerdtastic sort of way). It's here in case you're feeling adventurous, and it's also where I found a link to this something (below) on this blog by Lisa Shearin. I kind of love it...especially the one about characters who interrupt conversations with real people...this happens to me a lot. Also I have a favorite punctuation; (I've worked out a way it can be a metaphor for life, but I won't share lest I reveal too much of my inner nerd.)

You know you're a writer when:

• You sleep with pen and paper next to your bed — and the stove and the couch and the dining table and the shower and the toilet and the. . .


• You have a favorite punctuation mark. My editor’s trying to wean me off of em dashes — good luck with that.


• You have a favorite pen. Uniball Signo 207 with the comfi-grip in black ink. Uh, what do you mean there are other colors?


• You get caught up in plotting your next scene and put the cereal in the fridge, and the milk in the pantry.


• The stacks of your old manuscripts and rejection letters officially constitutes a fire hazard


• You desperately want Crayola tub markers so you can write down all that great dialog that comes to you in the shower.


• You love restaurants that put a big sheet of paper over the table cloth and leave you with a handful of crayons.


• You’re talking to a real, living, breathing person and suddenly stop and listen because one of your characters interrupted you.


• You think sleep is way overrated. Who needs more than three hours anyway?


• Your novels are backed up on your laptop, your husband’s laptop, two thumb drives, and you’re seriously toying with the idea of getting a safe deposit box.


• And finally, you know your a writer if you look at yourself and see a writer. Everyone else looks at you and sees an obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive insomniac with a pen fetish.
  

26days.

This is not a ranting blog. Nor is it a woe-is-me blog. I've read them before, and neither experience is pleasant; however, it is a this is real life blog, so brace yourselves. I graduate in less than a month. in 26 days. that's less time than it takes to develop a habit. In light of this truth, I feel like a crazy. I really probably should pull a Relient K and wear a mood ring. I can honestly say there have never been this many emotions coursing through me at once before. It's so weird. Since making lists is my default mode, I'm going to attempt to stabilize myself through familiarity and in doing so share with you what's happening in that space between my ears.

Worry.

I am not worried in the least about what I am going to do with my life; please don't even take it there. No I don't know where I'll be in the Fall, no I don't know where I'm going to work, no I don't want to teach, no I have no plans for grad school right now, and no I'm not going to get married this year. I am however worried about being good at, capable of, and most of all, accepting towards whatever it is God gives me to accomplish. Which leads to:

Fear.

I am so afraid of not being able to live out what I know and have said time and time again about wanting God's will for my life and not my own, and doing what He has for me, not what I desire. I really do want that, but until I know what it is, I'm afraid that I might fail and resist it. Then of course there's a little bit of:

Sorrow.

I have been in school for the last 16 years of my life. It's what I do, what I know, and what I love. I don't want to leave it. I also don't really want to leave the people I've found here. A lot of my friends are older than me, but they're still in school and I have to leave. It seems unfair. haha. I might make some of you throw up by saying this, but I like writing papers, I enjoy tests, and I adore doing research. I'm also super familiar with so many people, places, organizations, etc. on my campus. It's not Harvard or Auburn, but it's mine, and I love it. And then to not only leave school, but what if I leave here-the place I've my whole life? I already miss people, and I'm not even gone...but in a way that's why there's:

Excitement.

I don't know what's coming next! WOW. I'm going to go new places, meet new people, enjoy new hobbies, create a new schedule, and list goes on. It's an adventure, and when you have peace and joy in your heart, that's a fun thing to think about. I could be overseas in a year; I could be in Nashville; I could be in Montgomery. Wherever I am though, it'll be different, and it'll be new! And so I am definitely:

Happy.
Overjoyed.
Ecstatic.

I did it! All those tears, and challenging lessons. All those hugs and smiles, late night pots of coffee and studypaloozas where absolutely nothing got done, and I did it. (Let's not focus on the last 2 papers and midterms I have left, please ;) I have accomplished so much, and I did it with my GPA and my witness still intact unlike so many college students. I have reaped God's blessings, and my storehouses have certainly overflowed. I'm not trying to write my eulogy here; this isn't necessarily an end (although it kind of is). To me it's more of a beginning, volume, the second.

So now you know what about 10 minutes in my head looks like. Put that cycle on repeat, and you're totally me. My life is crazy, but it's mine and it's pretty awesome. Also, please go ahead and expect some sappy posts in the days to come. I like people to be prepared, and they're definitely coming, so you've been warned.

One Thing I Love...today.

Ok, so it's not that I don't love a lot this week, but this week is super busy...so I didn't get around to sharing last night. No worries though, because I'm sharing now. This week the thing I love is...

*insert obnoxious drumroll here*

My NEW MAC! Those of you who have already shed your I'm a PC name tags, pretend to be excited for me, because I'm kind of thrilled. In honor of this occasion Myrtle and I took our first picture together.

This is my Christmas morning face. and I know she's not really in it, but she took it, so it totally counts. Hurray for presents!

P.S. Secret Saturday is probably going to be in tweetmode rather than blogmode this week. Sorry Boutcha, but I'll be attempting to maintain my sanity all weekend with my crazy Dnow girls. It's going to be a pillowtalkpalooza!

Working 9 to 5... or 10-3

Sometimes tutoring makes me die a little on the inside. To illustrate reasons for this horrific assertion, I give you the following conversation that I was part of this morning.

Me: Since you say "student" here, you can't say "they." It has to be "he or she."
Tutee: Ohhhhh, so they have to match.
*Sidenote: this is the exact concept we spent 30minutes discussing Monday
Me: Yes. Also, since the pronoun and the antecedent are both singular now, your verb has to match, so it's "is" not "are"
Tutee:Ohhhhh, so "he or she are"
Me: No. "He or she is"
Tutee: Ohhhh, ok, so then if it was "student" and singular, then it would be "are"
Me: No. You can't say "student are" or "he or she are" You would say "student is" or "he or she is" or "studentS are" or "they are"
Tutee: Ohhhhh, ok I get it. So "If a student has the opportunity then they a..."
Me: NO. That's what you already have written, and it isn't right. This sentence should say, "If a student has the opportunity then he or she is..."
Tutee: Ohhhhh, so they have to match?
Me: Mnnhmnn, let's look at the next paragraph.

Maybe I'm just a bad tutor, or maybe people who come to college should have mastered ENGL 0100 skills in about the third grade. This happens to me most days, and sometimes it makes me want to be a teacher for about 3 seconds, but then the logical side of me overtakes the emotional side, and I decide it's better that I just pray for teachers and count to five and twenty. (Ten points if you get that literary reference). For all I know they've got a competition amongst themselves to see who can make me repeat myself the most. You win, M/W 11:00, you win.

Creeper Alert

I felt like sharing. This photo makes me die every time I see it. I love it so much. I see it every day when I come in to the Learning Center to work with a caption that says, "There's always someone to ruin a good picture" which is clearly true because usually I am that someone. I love my job. And I love this picture.

ShhhhShHHHhh.

Secret Saturday. Hurray. I love this day. Try to guess before I tell you...

This week I will divulge that, My favorite color is blue, but rarely do I love a blue-eyed boy. I say rarely because Gerard Butler is quite possibly the most beautiful man on this planet. Mostly though I am not attracted to blue-eyed boys. Can't help it. Sorry Boutcha.

ONE Thing I Love Thursday!

I Love Thursdays, and I love sharing one thing I love with you. As you may have already guessed, I love stories (that's not this week's thing). I also love pictures (still not it). The thing I love is Photographers That Tell Stories With Their Pictures. I love being able to look at a picture and imagine all sorts of situations that surround the objects within it. My overactive imagination has a heyday. I have some pretty cool photographer friends that I love, like Sarah Jayne, who takes pictures like this:

and my friend Ashlyn Joy who takes pictures like this:

And if I were a photographer, I'd take pictures like these. (All from weheartit.com)I love these because when I look at each of them, a story immediately starts developing in my head. Each person in the photo has a name, and I can tell you exactly what they're doing. I love it. And that's how pictures should be. If if picture isn't worth a thousand words, then it isn't really worth anything at all.

Easter do not mean about hats

Sometimes life overwhelms me. Now is one of those times. I graduate in like 42 days, and it is so very weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the least bit worried about it; it's just weird. I mean I've been in school for the last 16 years-I've been in school for more years of my life than I haven't been-so the idea of not having that structure and everything that comes with it is a little...weird. (Clearly I'm not feeling very loquacious today; I think I'm a little dehydrated) You may, or more likely may not, have noticed I have missed a few of my scheduled blogs, and there haven't been any other updates to make up for it. My bad. I'm going to try to get back in the groove this week. Meanwhile, I would like to talk about Easter a little.

Friday night at a Bible study I am doing with some sweet friends we talked about so many good things, and the Lord really used what we discussed to prepare my heart for today when I got fellowship and worship with my church family. One of my favorite things we talked about Friday was how amazing ad outstanding it is that The Father turned His face away from His only son because of me. It was and is so impressive to me to meditate on that, and be reminded that my sin was so great and so terrible that God the Father could not bear to look upon His Son and would not ease His suffering. And then that God the Son would willlingly die for me knowing He was going to be rejected by His Father whom He loved and had more special of a connection with than I ever could. It's absolutely amazing. And humbling.

Because of Christ and Christ alone am I redeemed. He made Himself the atonement for my sins, and I am eternally in awe.

Romans 3:21-26 "But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."

I pray that I never forget I Peter 2:24 "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed."