Friday, September 10, 2010

grammar

Grammatical things I can't get enough of:

semi-colons
superlatives
conjunctive adverbs
prepositions

Here's why.

Semi-colons are my absolute favorite; they are so elegant.
^Check out that sentence, isn't it just oh so much fun? Semi-colons are awesome because they make people really think about what's happening. They don't mean stop, but they do mean you have to slow down. And they let people know that you mean for the two thoughts on either side of them to be connected even if they don't appear to be related at first glance. They remind me of life. Everything in life is connected somehow; nothing happens just because, and it's imperative that sometimes we slow down, debrief, and process so that we can carry on and not build up so much speed by repressing and avoiding that we eventually crash abruptly and are forced to put everything on hold while we attempt to figure out what's happening. Semi-colons keep things chill, mellow, and flowy...just as life should be.

Superlatives are the best.
^I feel like this one is pretty obvious. If I just said "I like superlatives" you would probably immediately ask yourself, "Does she think that they are as awesome as a pumpkin spice latte on a chilly autumn day?" or "Is she assuming that season 2 of arrested development is less likable than some weird grammatical group of words?" (Clearly the answer is yes to all of the above) Which is why we need superlatives. You need to know just how much I like things, and I need to know that you think I am better than all your other friends.

I like regular adverbs; however, I like conjunctive adverbs more.
^ This fetish is two-fold. 1. I get to use a semi-colon when I use them. 2. I feel superior by not only knowing what they are, but also because the term itself sounds so pretentious.

Prepositions are of the most importance, but they should never be what you end your sentence with.
^Several things happen with prepositions.
A) They help differentiate between whether a gift will be going to your house or whether you really wanted out of your house (for v. from) or if you'd rather a more extreme situation, whether you were buried alive or found a nice tree (under the shade v. in the shade).
B) They sound eloquent when used properly (i.e. Tea shall be served beneath the arbor after we finish taking a turn about the garden. [eloquence can also be achieved if you fake a British accent when reading that sentence...your call])
And C) Teachers make you memorize that ridiculous (and not entirely extensive) list when you're in junior high anyways, so you might as well make use of it.


oh, grammar, I love you.

3 comments:

Allison Drew said...

Another reason why I love you.
^fragment

TaylorElizabeth said...

I faked the British accent automatically, as soon as I saw "tea shall..." I also have memorized that list of prepositions. Oh, and semi-colons are definitely my favorites. Love and miss you(:

Erin said...

This makes me giggle! The teacher inside can't wait to make her grand entrance into the teaching world!!! :)

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