^from my favorite etsy shopI should be tutoring, but apparently students are feeling super confident about this semester right now and do not want their appointments. Thus, I blog. So lately God's really been teaching me about the importance and necessity of encouragement-as friends, family, believers-and I have to say it's been humbling. I could definitely be a better encourager; I'm working on it. However, with this lesson has come a backlash that's been bothering me. I'm going to seek advice here knowing that you faithful few who read this will not respond, but hey, a girl can dream.
My dilemma is this: When is it ok to give up?
I don't mean, I feel like giving up on life. I mean that I'm getting exhausted and discouraged by continually reaching out to someone who doesn't want to meet you halfway. Sometimes I'm that girl who when faced with encouragement during a trying time says, "thanks" then still feels the same way for a bit, BUT I acknowledge that a well-meaning soul cared about me. It's just really hard sometimes caring and not feeling like it matters. I know it does, but what do you do when you don't feel like it does? I honestly want to cut my losses and find somewhere else to invest because quite frankly, this is somewhat painful. But I never want to be guilty of giving up on someone! Have you ever been here? What happens next? A dear friend of mine actually counseled me to step back and see if said drainer of motivation cherishes me at all, but I don't know how to do that because I'm afraid that I already know the answers doing that will reveal-that I don't really matter to them and I care a whole lot more than they do. Being a good friend is hard. I know that, but it's possible. So should should I continue trying to be a good friend and suffer silently, or suck it up and move on because they can't seem to comprehend how to be a good friend? You're probably thinking a. is the valid option. Fine. I'll accept it, but how do I deal with it? I want to be an encouragement, I really do (yes, I am fully aware that this post is the antithesis of encouragement [I promise I will actually be encouraging once I purge this from my system]) but in order to be successful at it, I think I might have to let this go. Unfortunate, this is.
(Fear not faithfuls, next time I'll post something fun. Maybe another celebrity boyfriend or how I'm the worst scalebackalabama teammate ever) :)
3 comments:
Dear Jenna, I cherish you and I am sorry, you don't always feel cherished. You are a good friend and I am guilty of not telling you that enough.
Remember the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." You can be kind and encouraging and always positive with your friend...but eventually there is only so much you can do. Continue to be kind and always pray for them, but have a boundary line and don't let this person suck you dry. Some people will certainly do that if you allow it. Let me know if I can help you in any way.
Your strength: Philipians 2:13 - for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work with his good pleasure.
Your encouragement: 1 Corinthians 15:58 - Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.
Your call: 2Corinthians 6:1-7 - Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says,
“In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.”
Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;
Your friend: You labor with Christ, by Christ, and for Christ. His approval you already have and he does cherish you as a priceless jewel. This is freedom from the burden that your friend places on you. Remove the yoke of your success in pleasing your friend and place the yoke of the pleasure of God upon you and then your load will be light. You may labor with joy and endurance. I will labor with you and sympathize for you and pray to our Savior so that he may strengthen you with His truth.
Your brother In Christ alone,
T.J. Weaver
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