It's a Big Day!

In honor of this all important day here are some things that make my heart go pitter patter.truth.adoration to the reader who knows where this is from... ok I'll tell you! (T.S. Eliot from "The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock [one of my all time favorite poems][read it!])

heyy WWII propaganda spoofage.

andddd, truth again.

People always love to (ever so nonchalantly) ask me "So, who you likin' these days" and the answer is indefinitely, my Keurig. Is it bad that potential romantic interests have to compete with a coffee maker? Maybe on the other 364 days in the year, but not today. Happy National Coffee Day!

See ya Never, September 24 2010.

Today was the worst sort of day ever. I made myself sound like a 13 year old in an attempt to reach out to a friend (who was like on level one friendship, so completely not in tune with crazy Jenna). And then I messed up something at work, got frustrated with several other work tasks, and had a tiff with my mom which resulted in me crying (ugly crying). Plus I was soo tired all day long and chose today to attempt to process things, things that I've ignored, but the Lord has been making me deal with. I was not emotionally stable to say the least.

So here's what happened. I went home. Made a fort/cocoon and stayed there until I felt like facing the world. I'll show you.

Cozy, no? I'm so glad today is over.

we'll just know when it's right

Winter is my favorite season, but I absolutely adore Fall. I love the smells, the colors, the atmosphere-everything. I have to make myself be patient for fall time because when you live in Alabama it's like having a perpetual summer. If I jump into all my favorite Fall things too soon, the humidity forms an alliance with the sun and they mock me by making me suffer through 98degree days with 86% humidity. So I trick them into thinking I don't care about Fall and that I can wait forever on it, and magically it comes sooner! Ok, so maybe that's not entirely true, but whether aided by me or not, Fall is oh so very close, and these are some things I cannot wait to make happen! the grandpa sweater. I am desperately searching for the perfect one since this one was sold via Etsy before I even had the chance to snatch it up. If your sweet old pappy decides this is year to move to Florida, be a pal and ask him for the sweater he will clearly not need in the sunshine state and send it to me.

the riding boots. I LOVE these. However, I really want a vintage pair, just because I think its so magical and charming to wear a boot that is preloved and has traveled. I always find it so fascinating and fun to imagine who used things before me and what they did with them.

pumpkin.spice.latte. Oh Yes. I may or may not have a slight addiction to them, but I refuse to buy them until there's a chill in the air. And at that point I might need to find an extra job because I will probably celebrate fall with them regularly.

I love fall for a lot of intangible reasons too. I just think the leaves changing colors and falling is so poetic and beautiful- a picture of people adapting and learning new things, then letting the deadweight that holds them down slowly drift away (because we all know changing can be a slow and painful process) and then being left with bare branches, naked and vulnerable before the world, yet strong and sure of themselves. ah, so very beautiful.

this girl is so ready for fall.

Fruit.

This post is about a series of events that brought me to an understanding, so don't judge me for being scatter-brained and/or ridiculous.

Preface:

If you read this blog with any consistency, then you know that I have been learning a lot about the Holy Spirit and I have been trying to be diligent at "practicing His presence". Then, last week I joined a study with the book Forgotten God where I'm continuing to learn about Him. (I don't know a lot about the book just yet, so don't look for a review, but I am going to say other things, so don't quit reading either.)

If you will remember, in January I blogged about my 'resolutions' Here. In that post I said I wanted to "6.Be kinder, and gentler. Those are the two fruits of the spirit that I have the hardest time with, and it really does sadden my heart." I meant that and I really did strive for it. Eventually though, I forgot that I was striving and that's what's really amazing. This summer we did an activity where we laid out poster board with everyone's name on it and went around and wrote something on each person's. I found mine by my couch the other day and read this, "you are so gentle. with me and more importantly with your students. Jesus is seen in that." (there are many other precious thoughts, but this one hit home) If you've known me for any substantial amount of time, you know that in the past "gentle" is not a word people would use to describe me. I know for a fact that I have made dear friends weep because I spoke truth to them without concern for their feelings. I loved big, but I didn't love gently.

It's for that reason that I can say with full assurance that the Spirit of the Living God is working inside of me. And that is so completely astounding. It's not me; there's no way I can even pretend that it's me. It's all God, 100%. One of the things I'm really trying to do more now is listen. And from that I'm learning a lot about how others perceive me--about how they perceive Christ in me. It's funny because the 'good' things people notice about me are not at all any of my strengths. They are things that I struggle with, things that I loathe, and things that make me cry. I don't know that I could entirely convey what I mean with type on a blog without the message getting altered, but God is just so evident in what people say and what I see.

I know that I'm not anywhere near where I need to be, but it is so very comforting to know that the Lord is with me and within me, and it is He that leads me wherever it is that I go. Praise God for His presence.

My Epic

Every now and then I find a poem or story or song that affects me in a way I can't explain in words. Recently my friend Kaycee introduced me to My Epic. I got to meet and hang out with them after one of their shows last week and they are truly as devoted to the Lord as they are talented. This song by them is absolutely astounding. Its honest humility really punched me in the gut. It's just so powerful. The last stanza makes me want to cry out.

Words and video because you need to read it to really let it sink in.

Lashes:

A storm is approaching. I know, ’cause I called it on. I’ll catch up lovers in my wake that I’ll consume and throw away, ’cause there is no woman I could love more than myself.... That’s why I still sleep alone.

Good God, I feel empty now, but no one found out and I never touched her. I’m trusting less in my defense, if there’s no difference in the things that happen in my head and happen in my bed. Oh God... I’m shaking like a leaf. I’m shaking...

For twenty-seven years now I’ve been waiting. For twenty-seven years now I’ve been keeping my end. But every single gift I ever gave You was just a bribe, so I could get You to give me what I wanted. It’s all kisses and silver. I never cared for innocence, just the appearance.

If only You’d wash me, ’cause I can’t see the stains. My God, I’m so scared, ’cause I’m fractured but I don’t feel the breaks. Have I loved too many daughters to ever be whole? I’m ashamed that You love me. Send grace for the hearts that I stole.

grammar

picture here.

Grammatical things I can't get enough of:

semi-colons

superlatives

conjunctive adverbs

prepositions

Here's why.

Semi-colons are my absolute favorite; they are so elegant.

^Check out that sentence, isn't it just oh so much fun? Semi-colons are awesome because they make people really think about what's happening. They don't mean stop, but they do mean you have to slow down. And they let people know that you mean for the two thoughts on either side of them to be connected even if they don't appear to be related at first glance. They remind me of life. Everything in life is connected somehow; nothing happens just because, and it's imperative that sometimes we slow down, debrief, and process so that we can carry on and not build up so much speed by repressing and avoiding that we eventually crash abruptly and are forced to put everything on hold while we attempt to figure out what's happening. Semi-colons keep things chill, mellow, and flowy...just as life should be.

Superlatives are the best.

^I feel like this one is pretty obvious. If I just said "I like superlatives" you would probably immediately ask yourself, "Does she think that they are as awesome as a pumpkin spice latte on a chilly autumn day?" or "Is she assuming that season 2 of arrested development is less likable than some weird grammatical group of words?" (Clearly the answer is yes to all of the above) Which is why we need superlatives. You need to know just how much I like things, and I need to know that you think I am better than all your other friends.

I like regular adverbs; however, I like conjunctive adverbs more.

^ This fetish is two-fold. 1. I get to use a semi-colon when I use them. 2. I feel superior by not only knowing what they are, but also because the term itself sounds so pretentious.

Prepositions are of the most importance, but they should never be what you end your sentence with.

^Several things happen with prepositions.

A) They help differentiate between whether a gift will be going to your house or whether you really wanted out of your house (for v. from) or if you'd rather a more extreme situation, whether you were buried alive or found a nice tree (under the shade v. in the shade).

B) They sound eloquent when used properly (i.e. Tea shall be served beneath the arbor after we finish taking a turn about the garden. [eloquence can also be achieved if you fake a British accent when reading that sentence...your call])

And C) Teachers make you memorize that ridiculous (and not entirely extensive) list when you're in junior high anyways, so you might as well make use of it.

oh, grammar, I love you.