It's been lovely, really it has. When I first got back from camp I really had a tough time with the whole "rest" thing. When you go from having 16hrs of your day planned and full of activities to having 16min of activity planned in your day, it's kind of crippling. I didn't know what to do- with myself, with my time, with the hundreds and thousands of thoughts running through my mind... and that was only week one! However, a very wise woman [Lesley DeVaughn] spoke wisdom and encouragement into my life, and I feel like God's really been showing me how sweet resting in Him truly is.
I don't mean that I've become okay with just laying in bed all day with cucumbers on my eyes and Mozart playing in the background, but I have become increasingly aware of God's presence just by being okay in the silence and solitude. This summer one of the lessons I taught was about Jonah, and pretty much every week I focused on God's love and compassion and the importance of making missions a lifestyle. Lately, however, I've been a little sad that I didn't spend more time focusing on the silence and solitude that allowed for the Spirit to move Jonah to repentance and cause him to actually obey in going to Ninevah.
It's funny how so often we know things, but never act like we do. I know that the very spirit of God dwells in me, guiding me in order to bring Himself glory, but I wonder whether or not I will ever fully comprehend how powerful this is. By trying to rest more and surrender my restlessness to the Lord, I feel like He's blessing me with a sensitivity to His spirit-a stronger desire to seek what brings Him glory in every area of my life (whether by what I eat, who I encourage, or how I react) and a better consciousness of the opportunities He gives me to witness the work He's doing around me.
My prayer partner, and one of my most favorite people this summer, Kaycee, is always so diligent to "practice His presence" and I think that a big part of that coincides with resting in His presence. In the book Practicing His Presence, Lawrence writes, "this year I have started out to live all my waking moments in conscious listening to the inner voice, asking without ceasing, 'What, Father, do you desire said? What, Father, do you desire this minute?'"
This is what I want as well, and I feel so blessed to have been given a season where I can focus solely on the Father's desire for my minute to minute life. I'm learning to embrace the beauty of the unknown and the enchantment of the unintentional. I'm learning that God is good, faithful, and more than enough which is wonderful because I do, after all, love to learn.