Beauty from Pain

Dear friends, I know that I have not blogged in quite some time, and for that I am extremely remorseful; however, God has been teaching me big things and the last couple of weeks have been kind of really challenging, so I'm sharing now. Forgive me.

Two weeks ago, I somehow ended up really distraught over doctrinal issues (and if you want to know more details, you can ask me in person and I will share) and it really shook me up. As a side note, I feel like it's imperative to point out that it's hard enough to stay focused and on task with all the regular camp issues, but throwing in some life-changing issues that need complete attention to be worked through makes focusing at all seem impossible. I ended up really struggling with the character of God and felt crushed by what I was reading in His word. But then I read Job. And Job changed my life, well, God used Job to change my life. He spoke directly to me in the last few chapters and revealed some things that I will never again forget. Here's all of that amazing, huge, life-changing stuff in a short summary that doesn't even begin to cover everything:

Sometimes God ordains suffering or uncertainty so that He can reveal His comfort and grace. God's interaction with His people is sovereign. He doesn't call us to understand it; He calls us to trust in Him, and all the more deeply when we can't understand. (and most importantly) I lack divine wisdom, still, I need to be content in God's sovereignty and mercy.

I'll tell you the truth, all of that may seem simple and obvious, but it was not easy to learn in that situation. Fortunately God knows me intimately and He provided what I needed when I needed it. I also fell in love with/was encouraged by Psalm 73 during this time. The Psalmist talks about how he was feeling so defeated and discouraged...UNTIL he came into the sanctuary of God. And then as he says in verses 25-26, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

God is so faithful even when I'm completely unfaithful, and it really blows me away.