FRIENDSHIP!

I always get along with the missions mobilizer the best. Wonder what that means :)

Personification

I think pictures really are worth a thousand words, or in this case, ten.

Psalm 65:8b "You make the dawn and the sunset shout for joy."

Beauty from Pain

Dear friends, I know that I have not blogged in quite some time, and for that I am extremely remorseful; however, God has been teaching me big things and the last couple of weeks have been kind of really challenging, so I'm sharing now. Forgive me.

Two weeks ago, I somehow ended up really distraught over doctrinal issues (and if you want to know more details, you can ask me in person and I will share) and it really shook me up. As a side note, I feel like it's imperative to point out that it's hard enough to stay focused and on task with all the regular camp issues, but throwing in some life-changing issues that need complete attention to be worked through makes focusing at all seem impossible. I ended up really struggling with the character of God and felt crushed by what I was reading in His word. But then I read Job. And Job changed my life, well, God used Job to change my life. He spoke directly to me in the last few chapters and revealed some things that I will never again forget. Here's all of that amazing, huge, life-changing stuff in a short summary that doesn't even begin to cover everything:

Sometimes God ordains suffering or uncertainty so that He can reveal His comfort and grace. God's interaction with His people is sovereign. He doesn't call us to understand it; He calls us to trust in Him, and all the more deeply when we can't understand. (and most importantly) I lack divine wisdom, still, I need to be content in God's sovereignty and mercy.

I'll tell you the truth, all of that may seem simple and obvious, but it was not easy to learn in that situation. Fortunately God knows me intimately and He provided what I needed when I needed it. I also fell in love with/was encouraged by Psalm 73 during this time. The Psalmist talks about how he was feeling so defeated and discouraged...UNTIL he came into the sanctuary of God. And then as he says in verses 25-26, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

God is so faithful even when I'm completely unfaithful, and it really blows me away.

Week Four.

Sometimes I have a hard time seeing love. Sometimes it's astoundingly, physically evident. Like here, in Williamsburg, Kentucky.

He loves us; Oh how He loves us so.

Weird Week, Day One.

So, this week I have the most diverse bunch of people in one group, ever. It's so fun. Also, a bit weird. There's no way I could share everything without showing you complete footage of the entire day, but I would like to give you a little something something to help create a scene for your mind. [sidenote: I will be incorporating my thoughts into the dialogue/descriptions as I report, and I will do so in the same manner as I presented this information]

Let's begin with dinner. Intentional time. So I see some students of mine and their table is full, but they offer to switch tables to sit with me. Looking back I see that this probably should've been clue number one. Instead I'm thinking, "yes, my students like me!" So we sit, and 3 minutes into the conversation Teddy decides he's going to be intentional with me. It went like this:

:Conversation about the weather:

Teddy: I want to go to Disney World

Jenna: Disney World is fun.

Teddy: Maybe our youth group could go. Maybe you could go with us.

Jenna: ohhh,mnnn,uh

Teddy: I'd ask you for your number, but you probably wouldn't give it to me

Jenna: [Did I miss something? Was that logical? I thought we were talking about vacationing...Oh no, I am so tired that I'm missing complete chunks of conversation now?] Yeah, I'm not giving you my number.

Teddy: Hmnn.

...[1.2 minutes]....

Teddy: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Jenna: Yes, a sister, two brothers.

Teddy: How old's your sister?

Jenna:16

Teddy: Is she hot?

Jenna: I'm sorry, what?

Teddy: Does she look good. Like her face. Is it good?

Jenna: [What does that even mean?! Why are you crazy? Why am I at this table? Has anyone seen Kellen's keys?!!!] Um, you are ridiculous, and that is a question I will not answer.

-Annnndddddd End Dinner Scene.

Then, after worship I decide to go to Sonic for some cheese tater tots. They bring me chili cheese tater tots though, so I politely decline and ask for just cheese stating "sorry, but I don't eat meat or I would just eat those" to which Sonic Friend replies emphatically, "Really? That's actually really cool" (Apparently being a vegetarian is the thing to do now.) So he goes to get the ones with just cheese which takes at least 7 minutes, but no fear because just when I think he's forgotten about me he returns with cheese tater tots, 4 coupons for free shakes and this: "Do people tell you you're pretty all the time?" To which I naturally reply, "uhmm, what? Oh, uh, no, but thanks, that's really sweet" [go go gadget super speed window roll-up]

And of course the day wouldn't be complete unless something else weird happened, so hello there county fair nightlife. There I was just hanging out by the horseshoes (dumb) and sweet baby Nick comes by and says, "hey, do you want this slushy" and I really don't so I tell him I'm good, but then he's all "yeah, I bought it for this girl, but when I took it to her, she said she didn't want it and walked away." OH NO! rude girls are not okay. So I felt bad for baby Nick and said, "I won't reject you!! Thank you" and took the slushy. And in his gratefulness he says, "thank you. I appreciate that...are you a leader? [yes] I think I saw you in the lunchroom earlier" And cue awkward conversation/shifty eyes.

Also today, my kids had a debate about how old I am and whether or not I'm married. The verdict? "25, and I knew you weren't married. You didn't have a boyfriend either do you?" No, I didn't. Furthermore, I don't. I'm not sure whether to be complimented or not. They think I'm 25 because I "act so old and grown up" but I'm not sure if they think "sheesh, why hasn't anyone snatched her up" or "yep, I knew it; she's practically a crazy cat lady already," and that my friends makes all the difference in whether or not this day was an 8 or 9 on the weirdodometer.

Obsessions.

I love houses. I like looking at them, and I certainly love living in them. This is what I desire:

A house with stairs like this, somewhere

A house with trees like this, all over

And, A house with a library like this, near a window.

Yes, please.

week one. deuces.

So sometimes I just like to share things I love. Because Love is fun. Well, it can be. If you hate this stuff, it won't be fun for you. Today I am wishing that I could draw, because I absolutely cannot. I can communicate fairly well with my words, but I really want to be able to do so with pictures. I also wish that I was a better illustrator. And by that I mean one who utilizes Adobe Illustrator to its full potential. If I had those skills, here's some fun things I would be inspired by.

Ok, so maybe the second one was stamps/paint and the last one was Photoshop. I just wish I was more artsy and talented. Maybe I should get a degree in fine arts. It could be fun. You're right, I don't mean that at all, but while we're putting on our "Serious Faces" let's talk about Week Uno of Camp.

This week the kids weren't out of school, so instead of children's ministry I did painting, construction, and yardwork. I won't lie; this girl was not excited. I've never been trained in how to lead or teach service in that track, but of course the Lord was faithful. I really struggled the day before they came because I had been studying how Jesus taught and what a big responsibility the Bible says it is, and thinking about how I had selfishly let myself get caught up in, ... well, me. Again, not worried about the Fall, but finding myself devoting my thoughts to speculation rather than the tasks at hand that God has sovereignly placed in my path, and I kept thinking how am I going to teach those kids starting tomorrow when I can't even do right in my own life. The answer? I can't, The Holy Spirit had to teach through me, and everything that happened last week just made that so evident.

Pray that God will make you humble and use you to glorify Himself, and He will certainly do so. I had all but like 2 junior high kids with Bible study material infinitely deep and wide, PCY with no concept of the sites or time management, and the silliest sort of weather. That's what I had, and I felt afraid. Oh, and I started off on a terrible foot by messing up during the very first thing I was responsible for at camp (Placing kids in track groups [PIT], essential for starting any week of camp). However, God gave me, the most flexible kids, the most loving and patient adults, and unplanned examples to relate Biblical truths to kids that they understood.

Be careful what you pray for, because humility is a scary thing, and being vulnerable is most terrifying, but be careful who you trust in, because independence is deceitful, and being prideful ends painfully. This week was hard, but it was so rewarding.